Me: "What do you want to wear to kindergarten today?"
Carly: "Ooh, THIS shirt! It's totally fashionable!"
Me: "... Fashionable? YOU'RE FIVE YEARS OLD!!"
Me: "Wow, my kids are pretty smart..."
Walks into bathroom. Sees a DOOR KNOB inside the TOILET BOWL.
Me: "Wow, my kids are idiots..."
My kids like to sing their own made-up songs on the spur of the moment. My favorite this week was Wes' "I'm gonna eat a cookie and rock out!", barely beating Carly's "I love Daddy and Popcorn!" song.
I took Carly out with me to the store the other night. Near the end she tells me "Dad, I'm starving!" So I test her: "Do you want a hot dog, or a piece of candy?" Her reply? Yup. "CANDY!!!" No surprise there.
1-year olds are like little zombies, shuffling around and making weird noises. They can walk, but they can't think. This is never more apparent then when watching a young toddler walked straight into the side of a bathtub and then fall right over and in, head first. Whoops!
"Wes, your underwear is on backwards", I told my 3-year old. So he took them off and put them back on. "Wes, your underwear is still on backwards" I told him after another glance. "And so is your hoodie. Also, your hoodie is inside-out".
Then Calvin became the second of my boys to eat an older sibling's poop. Never have kids, my friends. Stay childless as long as you can! CHERISH IT!!
