Losing an argument over a Burrito

Me: "I'm home! Now to eat my Taco Bell!"

Carly: "Aww, I want to eat your burrito!"

Wes: "I wanna eat a burrito too!"

Me: "But Mommy said she made you mac n cheese!"

Carly: "We don't want that anymore. We want to eat YOUR dinner."

Me: "Oh. Okay. Let me rip it in half for you guys to share."

Carly: "Mmm... burrito."

...

Carly: "I'm done for now. Give me your phone daddy, I want to play Angry Birds!"

Me: "Okay sweetie. Hey, you didn't finish your burrito!"

Carly: "That's okay, you can eat the rest."

Me: "Mmm... taco bell."

Wes: "Don't eat my burrito Daddy!"

Me: "I'm not. Wes, your burrito is over there on the carpet."

Wes: "NO, you have MY burrito!"

Me: "No, your burrito has little Wessy bites taken out of the side of it. That's it right there, where you put it down. I'm eating Carly's burrito."

Carly: "Hey! Don't eat my burrito Daddy!"

Me: "But you said I could have it!"

Carly: "I changed my mind. Gimme it back!"

Me: "Aww..."

Holy Crap!

I took Calvin to his first pediatrician's appointment yesterday, and Carly came along to keep me company.

As the doctor took off Calvin's diaper, he did the predictable and suddenly needed the diaper.  We recovered him and waited.  But he really had to go, and filled the diaper and the exam table.  Once we thought he was done, we stripped him down the rest of the way and got started cleaning him up.  But newly uncovered, Calvin decided he needed to go again.  In a projectile kinda way.  Before we knew it, he poop cannoned the wall, floor, pediatrician in her nice suit and heels.

Carly, who was quietly coloring on the other side of the room, exclaimed "Holy Crap!!"
"What?" I asked.
"Holy crap!" she repeated.
 "Carly, we don't say that!" I scolded.
"But mom," she protested, "that's a LOT of crap!"

I think it's kinda sad that I was so excited to get home and tell Marshall this story.  I just knew he'd be so proud- of both of his kids.

Calvin is here

Over 8 pounds of baby boy!

Pregnancy morning post

Lauren and I just arrived at the hospital to try to have our 3rd baby, Calvin. On the way there, our first two children proved once again to be entertaining.

Lauren: "Oooooh! Ahhhhh!"

Carly: "Daddy, is Mommy in pain?"

Me: "Calvin is trying to push his way out of Mommy, and it hurts her. I think he wants to be born soon."

Wes: "Calvin is hurting Mommy! Calvin is bad!"

Carly: "But we can't put Calvin in time out yet, because he is still hiding in Mommy's tummy!"

Wes: "Yeah, Mommy's tummy is Time Out, Calvin has to stay there!"

Russell: "Wow."

Lauren: "Ahhhh! Ooooh!"

Carly: "Russell, what did you say? I couldn't hear you over Mommy's whining!"

Me: "Hahahahahahahaha!!"

Little Things

*Carly climbed into bed with Lauren and I Friday morning and fell asleep. When I woke up, I cuddled her and said "Good morning Sweetie!" She blearily opened her eyes and looked at me. Then without skipping a beat, she wrinkled her nose, stuck out her tongue and went "Blah!" It was so cute- she really does have a strong sense of humor.

*Wes climbed into bed with us and immediately began rolling me over onto my stomach. I learned why when he started slapping me on the back. "Daddy, you're my drum-my!" he happily told me.

*Wes is cute, but he is 2 and a half , and that means occasional back-talk. Today I was eating a small bowl of ice cream when he came up and asked for some. "You can't have any buddy, you're allergic" I told him. "No, you're allergic!" he angrily replied.

*Sunday morning Carly woke up early and went upstairs to wake Wes up too. "Wake up Stinky!" I heard her call at his bedroom gate. A minute later I heard him reply "Good morning fartface!"

*Carly made me take my shirt off the other day. When I asked her why, she told me that "I need to pick the bumps off of your skin." She then used tweezers on me, just like she had seen Mommy do. And she was very gentle too.

And now, a series of camera pictures that Carly took of Wes using my cell phone!! (if you look closely you can see my slippered-feet, as I lay unconscious in my bed):

Something Wes Said

So Marshall likes to tease the kids.  No secret there.

Last week he was trying to convince them that apple sauce was yucky.  He went about this by telling them it was "poop."  (yes, yes, thank you husband for undermining my attempts to get your kids to eat something other than sugar cereal and popcorn...)

He also uses terms of endearment with the kids that were once terms of endearment with his bachelor roommates back in college.  One be "bonehead" or "head a bone."

So a couple days ago, I was changing Wes' diaper.  He announced loudly "My poop is applesauce!"  Then when I said "What?!"  He laughed his wide, jagged-tooth grin, and said "My head-a-bone!!"

This just goes to show that MOST of the crazy things my kids say are directly due to Marshall's influence.  How we will ever teach our children respect, reverence, or social norms, I just don't know.

Carly's Warning

The other day I noticed in the bathroom that one of the kids' bath toys was missing an appendage. Yes, Mr. Lizard was down to three legs. One looked like it had been surgically removed, with a pair of scissors. I wondered why. I asked Carly what had happend, and she said her and Wes were playing tug-o-war with him in the tub and it just snapped. Okay, fair enough. So then I asked her what we were going to do with the separated arm. It wouldn't go back on the lizard. Was there anything else we could do with it? Carly looked serious for a minute, and then came up with an excellent idea: We could tape the arm to our front door as a warning to all other rubber toy lizards, in this house the children play ROUGH! Haha. I encourage this type of logic, you know.

Carly is very pleased with the hand on the door. In fact, at one point she tried to tape up the entire lizard- turns out it was too heavy. Still, I think we all learned a lesson from this... Don't Mess with Carly! She's a wild thing.

Things Carly Said

Sometimes my cute daughter Carly (currently 4 years old) says things so funny I can't believe I'm not writing them down. Like the other day, when the bossy little girl demanded that I take her to the park immediately, and told me "I'm disappointed in you Daddy" when I said she needed to wait a little longer. Or when she sweetly informed my that Nouga, her stuffed pony, wants me dead- I guess I must have insulted horses in front of it somehow. Or the time she wrote me a love song called "You are a Fart". Ah, children. It can be so rewarding being a parent!

Anyways, I thought I would create this space for myself and my wife Lauren to document some of her more memorable statements. Maybe a quote here, a photo or story there, whatever seems fun at the time. And so without further ado, here's Carly dancing along to the "Boom ba-boom boom baby, Super-Bass" song:

Oh, and I'll try to include Wes too, when he does something to warrant it. He's a pretty cool little two year old. It's just too bad his Friday video won't load...